"Back in September, Lily (my infant daughter) came down with a horrible stomach flu. A few days later, on a Sunday morning, I awoke to the same. Mom was at the cottage, Drazen, Lily's Dad, had to work, and I was alone, incapacitated, with my 2-year-old. Needless to say, I was unable to care for Lily as I hunkered down in the bathroom, on the throne with a bucket in my lap. Lily was distraught at seeing her mom in such shape and I was beside myself because I couldn't care for her. Then came the call from Bernadette! Lily's BFF is Victoria, a friend she made at daycare and whose mother, Bernadette, has become a good friend of mine. A new friend who I already knew was a good friend, but proved to be a friend who went above and beyond the call of duty. When Bernadette heard what kind of shape I was in, she instructed me to dress Lily and pack a bag for her. She took Lily all day Sunday and overnight IN ADDITION to caring for her own rambunctious 2-year-old! Needless to say, it takes nerves of steel and a heart of gold to willingly step forward and volunteer for such duty. I was so relieved that I cried. It's a very scary feeling when you realize that you can't fulfill your child's needs - even more so when you can't leave the bathroom! Thanks to Bernadette, I was able to get over the nasty bug, rest and have peace of mind that my child was being well cared for and loved, with people with whom she is comfortable and loves in return. I will never forget Bernadette's kindness and will never hesitate again to offer my help to someone else in need."
Bernadette acted fearlessly. She wasn't afraid to offer help and she wasn't afraid to take a two year old into her home not knowing whether she would cry in the night. A lot of other people might be afraid to offer help for fear of giving the impression that perhaps that offer might infer that the sick mother could not look after her own child. And perhaps another person might worry that her own family would receive a tiny house guest with a flood of grumpy criticism. Any one of these reasons would lead to inaction and an effort afterwards to forgive oneself for not helping out. And these reasons for not helping another might be very compelling and of course, self-care is the course that we need to take sometimes. But what interests me here are the levers for action and inaction in helping a neighbour. I think one of those of those levers is fear and the extent to which a person is capable of saying "oh to heck with it - I'll just do it".
It would appear from Patricia's story that one unanticipated outcome of a compassionate neighbourhood is that the person on the receiving end of kindness will likely 'pay it forward'. This cycle is starting to look like active citizenship - perhaps we have a moral responsibility to act on behalf of the other, if we possibly can. Next up: another story about paying it forward with surprising results.
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