Holding Hands from The Cradle to the Grave

In my neighbourhood, we have two community centres, Dovercourt Recreation Association and the Jewish Community Centre (JCC). Some years ago, I was a trustee on the board of Dovercourt, so I know that centre well. I wrote about it in my book, "The Four Walls of My Freedom", as an example of how neighbourhoods can be compassionate places. But lately, I've been taking dance classes at the JCC and I've been paying attention to the many things this community centre is doing right.

Both of these organizations have undertaken to support the mind, body, and health needs of their constituents from cradle to grave. How does that look in action? Dovercourt has a 'kinder care' or childcare playroom where the staff know every child and their parents by name. Newborns and their mothers can take Mum and Me exercise classes in the gym, then be cuddled by kinder care staff while their Mums share a coffee in the adjoining lounge area. Between the regular swimming lessons in the pool, there is post-stroke aqua and aqua arthritis. I used to bring Nicholas to the special swim times for people with disabilities if he was feeling a little more delicate than usual. Otherwise, I brought him to family swims along with his sister and we all splashed around with the neighbourhood kids. Of course, after swimming, the kinder care staff would set up a video for him to watch so I could grab a coffee or have a chat with friends.

In 1998, our community suffered the ravages of "The Great Ice Storm". A great swathe of eastern Canada and the United States lost power - tons of freezing rain crushed the entire electric grid of the region, including our neighbourhood. Dovercourt was a designated emergency shelter and many families camped there, thankful for the powerful generator which provided heat, light and hot meals. Because of my son Nicholas' health needs, we were allotted a hotel, but we hung out at Dovercourt during the day with our friends. Everyone pulled their weight to make it easier for those with young babies or those who needed extra help due to age or infirmity. Here is a newspaper photo of Nicholas with friends at Dovercourt during the Ice Storm!

The Jewish Community Centre takes its neighbourhood compassion very seriously. The Hillel Lodge long term care facility for seniors sits comfortably beside the main Soloway JCC where a preschool, pool, gym and fitness classes are located. In the evenings, classes on Jewish culture and cuisine are on offer and there is a library for browsing or research. Family services are next door in another building that houses social work and the administrative offices for Tamir, an agency that runs group homes for Jewish adults with disabilities. Everyone is welcome at the JCC, but all their programmes reflect a mindfulness that cultural identity is the heartbeat of their community.

Why do I love these two centres of neighbourhood compassion? They see families in the most holistic way possible. Helping people live happy, healthy lives from cradle to grave is an idea that I believe commands great respect. It's an idea that I will keep coming back to, as I post my thoughts on this blog between visiting my 90 year old mother in Montreal, helping my son settle into his new group home, going to fitness classes and enjoying my extended family which now includes two infants. Personally, I'm closer to the grave than the cradle, but I know one thing: we are ALL in this together.

Welcome To The Compassionate Neighbourhood!

For a long time now, I have been thinking about two ideas: compassion and neighbourhood. As the mother of a 23 year old young man with severe disabilities and as the daughter of a feisty 89 year old mother, I want to know how compassionate action taken in neighbourhoods can make people of all ages healthier and communities more connected.

Let me tell two little stories. The first happened when my husband Jim and I moved back to Ottawa from our diplomatic posting in Washington, DC in 1987. We bought an old house on a leafy street and the same day that the moving van arrived, so did my neighbour with a casserole and a cake. "Gosh....thank you!" I couldn't think of anything else to say - no stranger had ever presented me with homemade meals before. The tiny white-haired lady smiled and said, "We live across the street and we saw that you were moving in. We just wanted to say welcome!"

The next story happened last year in London, where my husband and I were posted until we returned to Canada a month or so ago. Because Jim was the Canadian High Commissioner to the UK, we lived in an official residence with staff. Our house manager, Stephen, came into my home office one morning and immediately, I could tell he was upset. Every morning, Stephen caught the train into Victoria Station from his seaside town in Kent. On this particular day, his walk to the station was disturbed by the sound of a woman crying for help. Stephen stopped and after a few minutes, was able to identify the source of the plaintive cries. It was an elderly woman calling out from her window, "Help! Someone tell me what time it is! What day is it? Help!" Stephen told me that he spoke to the woman and learned that her husband had recently passed away. She was confused, distraught and alone. "Our country never used to be like that", he said, "We used to know our neighbours and help them."

What happened to change our neighbourly behaviour between 1987 and 2011?

Since my son Nicholas' diagnosis of cerebral palsy 23 years ago, I have been a disability activist. But recently I have become convinced that we need to look at CARE as something that spans all human life, across ages and across abilities. In Canada, a lot has been accomplished in making lives better for people with issues of ageing, disability and childcare. But those constituencies remain separate in their political advocacy efforts.

I know that there are seniors who look after their infant grandchildren. Those seniors may eventually need the same daily assistance as my son to get dressed in the morning. Everyone has or will have care needs. Of course the shrinking budgets of health and social care are a big part of this discussion, but so are the compassionate acts of neighbours.

In this blog, I am going to be talking about what works in my neighbourhood for those who need care and those who give it. My topics will be about care and kindness, innovative ideas that help families capitalize on their resilience and of course, government programmes that help or hinder the wellbeing of our children, seniors and loved ones with disabilities.

Welcome and as Joan Rivers would say, "Let's talk!"